Sheltering Your Child’s Daily Life (Part 1): Strengthen Their Character

In a previous post, I explained how we ought to expose our kids to what’s going on in the world so that they’re informed, educated, and well-prepared. But there’s another level of purposeful exposure we need to consider. More of a hands-on, experiential type of exposure. 

Think of it this way: you know how we all love avoiding sickness and germs? Well, even though we’d rather avoid illness, we know we can’t fully protect ourself from germs. First of all, that task is almost impossible. But second, if our life is overly-sanitized, it’s usually not good for our immune system. In simplistic terms, we need exposure to germs to build up our immune system. Sure, sometimes exposure leads to illness, but generally, we recover and get stronger in the process. All that to say, we need exposure to germs to be healthy. 

Now, exchange exposure to germs for exposure to the world. While we’d love to keep our kids sanitized from all forms of worldliness, we know we can’t. Not only is that nearly impossible, but it’s reasonable to conclude our kids need some type of exposure to build up what you might call a spiritual “immune system” (or an ability to fight off worldliness). In other words, our children need to learn how to fight off sin, and say no to temptation—which means they need at least some exposure to the world in order to practically live this out. Furthermore, we want to teach our children how to do this while they are under our care and leadership, so we can help them navigate potential pitfalls. And as they succeed at fending off worldliness, they will be maturing their so-called “spiritual immune system.”

All this to say, there’s an aspect to parenting in which we should be teaching in the trenches of real life — much like a hands-on, Christian-living apprenticeship! (Proverbs 22:6)

Daily Life Apprenticeship 

Picture your child becoming a young adult and living independent from you. What do they need to be ready for? The answer to that question tells you what you should start exposing your children to now — preferably, little by little (so as to not overwhelm them or set them up for failure).

Just as a few examples, our kids need to know how to interact with people who don’t have the same beliefs. They need to know how to handle peer drama. They should be able to interact with people who talk and act different. They should know how to stand up for what’s right even when the crowd is heading the wrong direction. They need to know how to think logically and coherently when foolish arguments are thrown at them. They should be able to say no to all kinds of temptation. And I’m sure you can think of at least a dozen more situations they need to be ready for. Basically, they need to be able to live biblically in an anti-Bible culture.

So how do we prepare our kids practically speaking? Essentially, we need to put them in situations that challenge them, and give them opportunities to put into practice all that they’ve learned. Intellectually they should know how God wants them to live (because we’ve taught them), but they also need to try out what they know (while they are still under our tutelage).

Think of the process teen drivers go through. First they need to pass a written test showing they know what they are supposed to do…at least theoretically. Then they need to drive 50+ hours with a parent before they can even take their driver’s test. In other words, they need a lot of practice with you by their side before they are ready to be out there on their own. The same is true of life and all its complexities. We need to give our children opportunities to practice godly living while we are still right there by their side helping and directing. And Lord willing, as they succeed, their character will grow (Romand 5:3-4), and their ability to fight worldliness will keep increasing!

This might look like allowing your child to join a sports team where you know not everyone agrees with Christian morality. Or maybe it’s purposing to have certain friends over (who you might otherwise avoid). Or for many of us, appropriate exposure to the world already happens within normal weekly activities, normal church events, normal extended family gathering’s, and normal daily interactions with people. The key is making sure we notice the exposure and use it as teaching moments.

Another Illustration 

I usually hate illustrations that compare animals to humans, but some are just too relevant to not share…

So my family has a dog, a silver lab, who’s about 6 years old. Marley, this dog of ours, is one of those forever puppies—she loves to interact with anyone or anything that will give her the time of day.

I remember during her early months of life she’d jet out the garage the moment it opened (usually to go sniff a neighbor or something weird like that). Eventually she became a generally obedient dog, so we decided it was time to train her to stay in the garage, even when it was fully opened (you dog owners know how important it is to tame those little escape artists!). 

So to start the training, we’d open the garage door and keep Marley right there with us. And as soon as she’d start to head out, we’d call her back. In time she started to get it. Then we’d test her— we’d open the garage and pretend we weren’t aware of her, to see if she’d stay put. Of course we were nearby to call her back as needed. In this process she was being more than trained, she was being tested, but note that this testing was fairly risk-free. 

Now, my dog is pretty amazing (in this regard, at least). The garage door will be left open with no one around, and she just stays behind the invisible line, even as other dogs and people pass by. But this didn’t just happen. Left to her own devices she would have sprinted out of the garage every single day of her life. We had to teach her, train her, and then provide strategic exposure to temptation until she knew exactly what to do. 

Clearly, our children are different from our dogs in so so so many ways. However, there is a pertinent principle. Our kids are born with a nature that would cause them to jet out to morally dangerous territory every day of their lives. Which is exactly why we need to not only teach and train them, but provide some strategic exposure. And then, little by little they will grow and learn how to say no to sin, and yes to living God’s way.  

The worst thing we could do is send our kids off one day with complete freedom (like a suddenly opened garage) without first helping them grow to handle all that’s out there. So let’s make sure and strategically train them with their future in mind.

Let’s get them ready to live a godly life in a very ungodly world.

Much more can be said about this…. Join me for the next blog post where I’ll cover more about this purposeful exposure — what it is and what it isn’t. 

1. How Much Should We Shelter Our Kids? 
2. The Art of Strategically Sheltering
3. Sheltering Your Child’s Mind (Part 1):  What to Say and When
4. Sheltering Your Child’s Mind (Part 2): Get Talking!
5. Sheltering Your Child’s Daily Life (Part 1): Strengthen Their Character
6. Sheltering Your Child’s Daily Life (Part 2): How to Expose them to Temptation
7. Sheltering Your Child’s Heart (Part 1): Ruthlessly Protect
8. Sheltering Your Child’s Heart (Part 2): Avoiding Danger
9. Making Decisions: Protecting and Preparing the Next Generation